final draft

by

Humanities

Revision Plan (not less than 250 word as whole 3 boxes not each) defied to 3 box as in the picture i provided

the 3 boxes. (I need the Revision within 12 hours it’s due, also separate and number them so I can identify each box) and for the final draft i need it within 2 days

Higher Order Concerns

more details and deep like the relationship between the sentences and the ideas

Lower Order Concerns

like grammar and word spelling mistakes or other things related.

Revision Plan

in general…

1. Explain the feedback you have received on your Intermediate Draft that addresses higher order concerns.

After writing your Intermediate Draft and submitting it to MyReviewers, you will have received feedback from your instructor. In this first part of your Revision Plan, you should summarize the higher order feedback you received on your draft. What major revisions are needed to strengthen your analysis, evidence, and organization?

2. Explain the feedback you have received that related to lower order concerns in your Intermediate Draft.

In this section of your Revision Plan, explain the feedback you received that addresses lower order concerns in your Intermediate Draft. What minor revisions are needed to style, overall format, tone, and/or mechanics?

3. Explain your specific revision plan you will follow as you work on your next draft.

Based on the revisions needed to address your higher and lower order concerns, what revisions are you planning to make to literature review in your Final Version Draft? How do you plan to make these revisions?

Overall comments on the first draft

Scores out of 6

ANALYSIS(2/6) (Pleas focus on the analysis part more )

You have an outstanding introduction, follow that blueprint. The analysis is trying to convince me that pollution is bad, rather than describing the literature’s handling of pollution. There is no synthesis of multiple sources.

EVIDENCE 3/6

The evidence is cited well and is great evidence for a persuasive essay. However, the objective is to show how the literature interact.

ORGANIZATION 3/6

Intro/conclusion are done well.

Each body paragraph should have at least two sources, a piece of evidence from each source, and a synthesis of the importance of what you found. Focus on body paragraphs.

FORMAT AND STYLE 3/6

You have a great formal style. However, the format is not what was asked of this lit review.

ENDNOTE

You have a great intro. I suggest combining some of your paragraphs in order to integrate more synthesis. I think you’ll be able to use a lot of the evidence you have, but you have to restructure what it is your trying to do. Start with topic sentences, the two sources, then the evidence, and the analysis.

Pleas make sure to

1- go over the previous discretion that I have posted for the first draft

2- focus on the analysis part more and add more.( my instructor said it should be half of the paragraph or more)

3- make sure to ask me if u have any question


Highlighted paper (with numbers ) of the first draft so u could see where the comments are in the original paper

Another paper with numbers and comments

i will also provide u with a check list my instructor gave us in the class (u don’t need to highlight them in colors)